Alice in Tinderland PT.1

Monday, 28 November 2016

Earlier this year I found myself single for the first time as an adult - scary right! (read about my new chapter here) so after a little time soul searching I decided to take the plunge into online dating and that decision has led to the crazy ass world I now live in. Tinder tinder tinder - everyone who's singles on it right? or at least tried it!

Well my foray into the dating scene has been interesting to say the least and I thought I'd share my disasters with you guys because well if I don't laugh with someone I might cry from embarrassment with some of them so off we go down the rabbit hole into my adventures on Tinderland

Heart games

#1 - Mr Patronising

Ahh my first ever tinder date! It was never going to go well was it? Life's just not that simple. He seemed nice and normal enough he was definitely a gentleman taking me out for food and cocktails and paying, however if he reminded me once that he'd done that he reminded me a gazillion times. Oh and he also made a point of telling me that I'd put my knife and fork incorrectly on my plate after my meal. Needless to say my first date while pleasant enough definitely wasn't a keeper patronising does not get my heart racing. Oh and his shirt choice was enough to make me want to run for the door as soon as I got there

#2 - Mr BFF

I'm clearly not using Tinder right am I? Date number two was definitely an improvement on the first, he was more my kind of guy and our personalities bounced off of each other excellently. A few meetings more and football matches a plenty we realised that we're so far in that friend zone and I couldn't be happier! So I didn't find love but what I did find is truly one of the nicest boys I've ever met (when he's not being a sarcastic twat!) he's picked me up many a time brushed me off and sent me on my way. I know I can rely on him and I know we'll be friends for a very long time! I'm counting this one as a tinder success

#3 - Mr Cheat

Oh how naive I was. This guy was continually vague about everything from where he worked to where he lived, I thought he was mysterious - turns out he was making sure I didn't find out he had a girlfriend. I did find out and gave him absolute hell. Turns out a mutual friend knew him and his girlfriend found out about his antics not too long ago. Karmas a bitch guys and gals it will always find you

#4 - Mr Skaterboy

So one of the first things you do on Tinder is set an age limit, mine was set that I didn't get any babies (18 - 19) looking for fun yet after a drunken swiping sesh with one of my girlfriends I matched with skaterboy. He was 19 and we got on great lots of chatting into the night and cinema dates etc. ultimately our lives were at different stages and that's fine but I've got fond memories and we still chat occasionally. 

#5 - Mr Mummys Boy

Probably the closest I've come to an actual tinder relationship. I met Mummys Boy and everything moved really fast! Within a week or so I  was constantly at his flat. We spent a lot of time together and really got along well, I developed feelings for him and the feeling was mutual. Looking back god I was absolutely blinded by lust. He was a complete Mummys boy and simply looking for a replacement, he was inept at looking after himself and I genuinely have never met someone so utterly childish in my whole life not to mention manipulative. This guy actually held my coat ransom after I ended it for almost 2 weeks. I imagine he'll be back at home crying to mummy about why he can't find a girl to baby him.

TBC - part two of my tinderland stories will be live soon
Have you got any Tinder stories?

Alice Megan

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2 comments

  1. This collection sounds intriguing. It’s interesting to come across people who have had some decent experiences with Tinder since I only hear horror stories. Mr. Mummy’s Boy sounds absolutely awful. Childishness and an inability to take care of oneself is a HUUGE no for me.

    I’m super intrigued to read the second part of this.

    mchi (@mchiouji) | http://blog.mchiouji.me

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    Replies
    1. Yeh not everyone on there is bad but definitely have to sift through the weirdos haha

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