How to fix a broken heart

Wednesday, 23 August 2017

- Warning Heartbreak isn't kittens and rainbows and neither will my language - if that's going to offend you then shit girl get off the page.

Relationship doge

I have that familiar feeling in my chest again... it could be heartburn

Or it could be that I got fooled by another manchild into thinking he was 'different' blah. my fault AGAIN. Anyway during my wallowing I figured there must be other girls out there just like me right now? The millennial generation getting caught up with fuck boys, tinder dates, casper the friendly ghosts and just plain old misogynistic fucktards of our generation of males (pssst I know some of you are nice I think you're hiding under rocks or something)

So I thought I'd channel my emotions (see gif) into something functional and useful and meme filled are you ready for the rollercoaster of 5 easy steps? Great lets go
Glass case of emotion
I don't care how you got here but here's a sample of pathetic reasons I've heard in the last few days
" relationships aren't me"
" I cheated on you"
"You deserve better" (understatement of the fucking century thanks mate)
" Just move on"  (HAHAHAHA good one kid why didn't I think of that?)
Or * insert other bollocks reason about why they NEED space to figure their heads out etc etc*

He will not change his mind - (even if he did WHY would you let him, girl you are better than that) so purge him. Block and delete on every social media, delete his number. He no longer exists in your world

"We can be friends"
No no no no no... did you get that?
Let's be friends
Now he may not be the love of your life but "boy you was seeing for 6 months" doesn't have the same ring to it yano? 

If he asks you to be friends say no. Or say yes and then block. He wants his cake and to eat it, he wants you there as a crutch for if the grass isn't quite as green as he thought it would be. YOU are worth more than a second option, a fall back, a "friend with benefits"

Did you know that wallowing's good for you? Like genuinely google it (I'd insert a reputable source but hey that would interrupt my angry bitter ranting). People dealing with a break up heal better if they keep going over the old ground with themselves. Write a journal, listen to sad songs (Yes Adele!!) watch sad movies (The Notebook I'm looking at you) and rely on the only men you'll need in your life B&J. Give yourself a time limit of wallowing I'd 3-4 days maximum then...
Ben and Jerry's

Pull yourself together girl

Do you know how amazing you are? Like genuinely you're the fucking shit. If some idiot boy can't see that then bye bye boo. You're hella strong and you don't need any man to empower you. You are an absolute QUEEN if he's willing to let that go then that's his loss. Paint on that mascara, don those heels and shake it like a badass, keep your chin up and don't let that crown slip

One final thought - a rebound fling is fine, another full blown mental relationship is not
relationship titanic

Are you heartbroken?
Have you been?
Have a massive fucking rant in the comments

Alice Megan