Tuesday, 28 August 2018

Sex Positivity and why it's important

Sex. It's a funny old thing, it's a topic that we're discouraged from discussing, especially as women. Despite the fact that the vast majority of us are doing it we're almost made to feel guilty about it, like it's something that should happen but that if we like it too much we're instantly slut shamed. The double standards of sex works both ways too. Girls are seen as promiscuous, whereas a boy choosing to remain a virgin can become a laughing stock and encouraged to 'get rid' like it's some kind of burden.

It's pretty damn ridiculous that we still allow such antiqued views be common place, sex positivity should be encouraged, this doesn't mean going out and sleeping with everyone with a pulse (equally if that's your thing as long as you're safe then go slay!). Sex is something I learnt about through very poor sex education lessons, chats with my mum and a lot of my own research, which unfortunately in this day and age leads to such terrible misconceptions about sex. 

We need a safe place we can all learn, and I don't just mean the whole where do baby's come from chat but the intricacies of sex, the safety precautions to take, the various positions, the ways to orgasm as a woman (because this is a whole topic which is COMPLETELY ignored in any sex ed lesson I ever went to) and how fun it can be. It doesn't always have to be super serious it's about exploring your likes, dislikes, finding your kinks and discovering what really pleases you

I'm a huge advocate for talking about sex, it should be commonplace amongst your close friends, exchanging tips, talking about where you're getting your sex toys such as vibrators, butt plugs* or even something kinkier from the FETCH Online Shop* and just generally speaking more candidly, it's the easiest way to breed sex positivity and more importantly make it a normal conversation and therefore encouraging a culture of learning rather than it being all cloak and dagger 

By encouraging open and candid conversation so many other topics that really need to be discussed get coverage such as gaining consent and how that can differ for each person, staying on top of your sexual health such as regular STI checks and Smear tests. If you're not discussing sex openly you may google a problem and let me tell you when it comes to sex a personal opinion and chat with a friend is so much more valuable than a complete stranger saying you have an STD (keyboard warrior checks don't work that's a damn fact)

I think the most important lesson from being sex positive is learning that everyone is different, sexuality and gender is becoming incredibly fluid and with it our sexual experiences and kinks are changing too. It encourages body positivity, really getting in touch with yourself and understanding what makes your body tick. 

What's your view on discussing sex?


1 comment

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